I would like to be friends with someone that I can just shut the fuck up with. Someone that won't try to make small talk if there's an awkward silence. Someone that when I'm with them, I won't feel like I need to make small talk to fill an awkward gap. My best friend is honestly the most dramatic friend I've ever had. I would just like someone that actually enjoys silence and just being there. I hate feeling like I have to talk or be social when everyone knows I'm clearly not. Unlike some people, I like just sitting, thinking, analyzing, doing anything but talking to everyone about everything that happens in my life. I'm a recluse at times and I don't show emotion that much. Just because things don't affect me that much. I've never gotten depressed. I'm happy sometimes. Poverty, disease, dying children do affect me because those are issues I feel are worthy of expressing great emotion. I'm not going to cry because someone said something negative about me. I suppose it's true when people say that I should show more emotion, but how can I if all of the emotions I experience are fleeting? I just don't think it's worth it to make a fuss if I'm going to return to a normal state after 3 minutes. I'm a lot more subtle than most whenever I do show emotion. Happiness comes across as a smile, perhaps jumping up and down if I'm super-excited. Sadness rarely shows up. I become detached when I'm angry.

I don't like it when people ask if I'm okay because what's the point. It's just an unnecessary effort because I'll feel fine a minute later. I work through things by analyzing it and thinking things over for a little while and then I'm fine a short while later. I just simply don't have many problems that would make me emotional. I think that I am more expressive than people make me out to be though. Besides, what's so great about being very emotional? Do you like it when people are squealing happily all the time? Or crying to you about everything? Or someone frothing at the mouth with rage? If I were to be more emotional, my feelings would probably culminate into anger towards those people that want me to be more emotional & I would be pointing out everything I find annoying about them and all of the things that they have done or said or bothered me about that made me want to punch them in the face. But, that would probably never happen because I would not to anger them and then they wouldn't be my friend anymore, etc. The other reason that wouldn't happen is because whatever I find annoying about them or what they have done, etc. I get over it. I get over it and move on. Perhaps that is something they should do?