AFI have been my favourite band ever since I was 11 & now I'm almost 15. I waited 3 long years for their new album & tour. I was going to attend the San Francisco show tomorrow but unfortunately there were quite a few complications. Luckily, a kind girl kindly accepted an offer that I would pay for her ticket & gas money as long as she drove me from Sacramento to the show & back. However, she had to work & her car isn't working that well. She said she felt bad but I said it was perfectly fine. & surprisingly it is. I just wasn't as excited as I should have been for this show. I pretty much knew that I probably would not be able to go especially since it would have been under clandestine operations but I still held hope.

I know that AFI are incredible live & everything (well, so I've heard from many many accounts) but I've just lost a lot of passion for them. Waiting for 3 years for an album & being a bit disappointed in the product will do things to one's enthusiasm. decemberunderground is a fairly decent album but to me it just doesn't have the same emotion and passion as they used to. I want to see AFI sometime in my lifetime, hopefully soon but I'm afraid that I may eventually be perfectly fine with not seeing them at all.

They have always adorned the spot as my favourite band for so long even though deep down I know they aren't anymore. I just feel like I have an obligation to say they are since they have seniority. I know I will always love AFI but currently Dir en grey deserves the spot of "my favourite band." I know that I could definitely not stand never seeing them live. Partly because they are just so much harder to see because they live on a completely different continent. Partly because I have never known a band with as much raw emotion, passion, power, & stage presence. None of the other bands that I like can say that their lead singer is so emotional & so invested in performing because it is his personal outlet for pain and feelings that he tears himself apart on-stage - spilling his blood on his adoring fans. Not for the sake of a good gory performance but possibly for his own sanity. His bandmates also wholly support him & never limit him. They don't stop Kyo from cutting or scratching or finger-hooking his mouth because they know that he can take it because he has a good idea of what his limits are. & when he does push past them ocassionally, they are there for him & are concerned about him. They have had the same line-up since the beginning & they have such loyalty to each other.

AFI show the same loyalty & friendship & that is one of the things I love about them. However, at this current moment they do not occupy the favourite band spot. I still cherish them but it will take a while for them to reclaim their spot; they will come back to me in time though.

I'm not all that disappointed by missing this show & I'm not sorry.